He's THREE!

Biblically speaking, three is supposed to be perfect and divine. Three as an age...not so perfect and not at all divine. With Aidan and Cole Patrick, I remember wondering, why does the "Terrible Twos" have such a bad reputation, three is the real bear. Brendan isn't any different, and yet he really is. Developmentally, three is when children start to figure out they are independent of their parents, so can you imagine what it is like to just find your parents a few months shy of three. Brendan is walking a fine line between learning independence while bonding with his new family. Well, I am a slow learner, so I am just starting to understand.

Aidan and Cole Patrick are 22 months apart--I highly recommend this approach because you don't have time to forget. Brendan joined our family just a couple weeks before Cole Patrick's 8th Birthday--I was clearly no longer in the zone. It had been years since I had to wipe a nose, bottom or any other body part. Now, I will be perfectly honest here, this was harder than I thought, too. Adopting, in general, is a complex mixture of emotions--especially if you already have biological children. Bren did not spend nine months inside me bonding, and he didn't come to me smelling, sounding or looking familiar. It is more like one day we had two children and then, BAM...we have three. As a Mom, I had to adjust at Mach speed; a true test of Mom skills. In my case, I had to fake it until it did feel natural. For example, when Brendan needed wiped, I couldn't be like, "I'm really going to need to ease into this--can you just do it until I'm there?" Do not judge, folks, this is not as simple as it sounds. It is widely known in my family that I am easily grossed out--in fact, my older brother used this to his advantage for years in order to have more food at the dinner table. Not only did I have issues with wiping certain parts, but at first, I never ate after Brendan like I do my other two. I had to laugh the other day when I realized that I am over that. Just another mark of how far we've come.

 Eight and ten year olds are AMAZINGLY easy compared to three-year-olds...of course, I didn't fully realize that until I was thrown back into the preschool years. There is something to be said about being thrown back into the preschool years, without the three years to ease into it...whoa! It definitely has been a test of my character, and I have not always passed. So poor Brendan, not only is he three, but he has been thrust into a new family who also doesn't look, sound or smell familiar, and on top of that, his Mom can't figure it out!

I think, however, that I finally got it...he's three! I say it to Cole Patrick all day long: "Mom, Brendan touching my Lego guys!" "Dude, he's THREE!" I have spent hours reminding Cole Patrick of what he was like at three. But now, I think maybe I have finally figured it out. Last week, Aidan, Cole Patrick and Brendan were signed up for British Soccer Camp. I thought, "This is going to be awesome! Brendan is going to be amazing with his kicking ability and advanced coordination." (I have, however, mastered my parental bragging rights.) Except, it wasn't awesome because Brendan is three. After two mornings of watching Brendan NOT loving it, I pulled him out after 15 minutes of the third day. At first I was upset--what is wrong? I put him in the stroller and went for a long run. I thought about Aidan at three. Jason volunteered to coach her soccer team--I remember us totally dreading going to practices and games because it was pretty much like herding cats. Three-year-olds don't really like organized sports. Seven years later, Aidan can handle just about anything, so Brendan not being ready for British Soccer Camp isn't an indication of his future success. Plain and simply, he is three.

So, I think I have had a breakthrough. Now that I am starting to actually realize Brendan is three and not expecting 8 and 10-year-old behavior out of him, everything is making more sense. Funny how that works, huh? I am sure he is greatly relieved that Mom is starting to get it, too.