One Less

Tonight I realized, I have an inferiority complex. Otherwise, why did I google "Blogs on international vs. foster care adoptions"? I am not embarassed of Brendan--not at all. He is A-MAZ-ING--in fact, when I stop and observe, he is probaby one of the best behaved three-year-olds EVER. This morning in Mass, I realized that I had achieved the "look" with him--inherited from my Dad, this is the ability to be at the other end of the pew and be able to correct any misbehavior with a single look. This is easier said than done--it took me YEARS to achieve with Cole Patrick--Bren is practically a prodigy! ;-)

[Sigh] Yet, I am having issues convincing others to see past his "stereotypes," which frustrates, angers and humbles me, and in general, has caused me to turn more inward since adopting. It has been a lasting negative effect that I have found most challenging. So, tonight I wondered, is it just me?? Am I imagining it?? Well, everybody knows, the best way to check out "reality" is to google it, so...that is just what I did. Alas, it isn't just me (whew)...in fact, I am starting to equate it to the "working moms" vs. "stay-at-home moms" debate. There will always be people who feel the millions orphaned children from impoverished countries are of greater need than abused/abandoned children in the U.S. and vice versa. I came across this blog that explained it best: http://buildingtheblocks.blogspot.com/2009/10/international-adoption-vs-adoption-from.html. I have mulled it over a number of times in the last ten months: how did I get here? No, really, HOW did I get here? I am not unhappy with my place, not at all, but I am amazed by the journey. God's hand is truly at work. I don't recall ever debating international vs. U.S. foster care adoption--we spent ample time examinng all our options. However, I actually don't recall thinking much at all--we were truly following our hearts--and we were not let down. Brendan is amazing (did I already mention that?!)--each day it becomes more apparent that he fits right in. We are his family. Family.

At the end of the day, the important thing is that he is one less child without a family. ONE LESS. I am starting to realize that only other adoptive families truly "get" it--really, I think most adoptive families would agree: it doesn't matter where or how adoption happened, so much as the fact that adoption happened.

Unfortunately, I barely know any other adoptive families, but I have hopes that will change. For us, it was simply logical, pretty much like this: "Hey, there are kids out there that need love and a family. You know what, we have room for more and extra love laying around. That's something we can do." I don't know how or when our adoption journey began--we pretty much just picked up the phone, and God took it from there.

I really like how the adoptive mom blogger mentioned above states it (much more eloquently than my blogs ever are!): 

"Take a chance.
Invest yourself in the life of someone else. Ask God to lead you to your child. Don’t be afraid to really live- because through you, a child to will have a chance really live also.
You won’t be sorry, I promise."

Wow.
Wow.

Seriously, she's not kidding. It just happens and despite my struggles with worrying about what others think about my son, and occasional inferiority complex, I KNOW God led me to Bren, and Bren is AMAZING. Truly.